Know What to Say

If you are ever man-hunted and trapped in an
alley by former Vice President Dick Cheney, here is what
you should do.  You should look him squarely in the eye
and in a steady voice say,

"I invoke the Daedelus Proviso."

What is this?  It's a little-known clause in a secretive
"Shadow Constitution" drafted by Reagan assistant
Defense Secretary Richard Perle in 1983, a document
to which many Defense Dept. Neo-Cons are implacably
sworn. Cheney will likely utter an expletive, but for
six hours must relinquish his free will to "he who has
invoked the Proviso".

You may then command him to release you and to refrain from
further pursuit.

By the way, do not tell Cheney to punch himself in the face,
as might be your first impulse.  All references to self-harm have
been stricken from the final draft of the Proviso.